The epic battles continue! Elian Gonzalez vs McCauley Caulkin

First things first. Should the Big EG still be here or were we right in returning this one without the receipt? Hmmm. There is a difference between immigration and defectation (not a word but it sounds fun). Elian defected to the US because Cuba sucks "the big one." I believe they have power outages once a day for like 8 hours each day. The newest car they have is a 1950s Mercedes. Castro is still wearing that very gay unfashionable hat. Castro is still alive and probably will be for another 100 trillion years. Let's face it, life in Cuba isn't that bad.

I'm going to be the bad guy if I say we were right in sending him back. He wanted a better life here in 'Mairca and that is definitely understandable. You can't blame anybody for wanting to get away from Castro. It was kind of messed up how they captured the little guy. Aside from all that, look how cute he is.

However, I think we did the right thing. Yep, I'm the bad guy on this one. Think about it: if we would have made an exception for Elian we would have made an exception for Paco, Enrique, Esteban, Maria, etc. Eventually the flood gates would open and we'd have even more illegals than we do now. We had to be stalwart and say "no!" It may not seem right but it does make sense.

Perhaps one day Castro will run out of batteries and the people of Cuba will be free. Then Elian would be able to come to the US and have a fun filled life working for McDonald's. Perhaps he will work at Giant (that's a grocery store here in MD, so for your benefit I'll also say Kroger) like Mario, the non-english speaking Mexican Melissa and I encountered last night. I think it's part of Giant's grand plan. They get you to buy the discount card and you never get to use it because Mario doesn't speak english. He's having a hard time ringing everything up and by the time he's done you just want to get the hell out of there. That's what I did last night.

Onward.

Next topic: who's more cute, Elian or Caulken?

Elian. McCauley Caulken was annoying as hell in Home Alone. Not only that, I was supremely annoyed by the fact that a kid could set these elaborate traps in an hour! Yeah right. The second one was even more retarded. How can a man be hit in the head with 4 bricks from 4 stories up and not die? Plus Caulken's attitude during those movies was annoying. Then there is the matter of his face. Every time I saw his face in the movie I wanted it to melt like Raiders of the Lost Ark. Elian is a winner in one of two bouts today which isn't bad.